WHY OH WHY SO MANY COLORS...?
In
a simpler time, women were simply known as mysteries. Men and song
writers rather liked it that way. But somewhere along the trail, women
decided they'd make other things mysteries as well. Like their colors.
Men and even song writers managed nicely with basics like red, yellow,
blue and green. Now...! well, now take green. We are now told there is:
Apple, lime, asparagus. Moss, myrtle, jungle. Lawn, fern, forest. Not to
mention Paris, Persian, Phthalo!
Those of us from Mars suspect
those of you from Venus have an unspoken raison d'etre for this and
other such delicious feminine obscurities. In simpler times, men held
unfair advantage with the use of muscle. In response, women today take
advantage with the use of mystery.
Watch any dazed man
accompanying any woman through any Michigan Avenue dress salon. The
mystery of everything from her colors to her cadences can neutralize him
at any moment. And why not. Ever since Eden, we seem to to enjoy being
neutralized...!
WHY OH WHY SO MANY COMMERCIALS?Do
you know what happens in America at precisely 12, 24, 36, 48 and 60
minutes after each hour of prime-time programming? These are the
trigger-points for network engineers across the nation to interrupt
whatever you may [or may not be] enjoying with capitalism's gift to the
people: a commercial.
At one time we could switch channels, but
now the national conspiracy of commercialdom has ordained all channels
go to commercials all at the same time. Thereby igniting a new national
mystery. What does America do when commercials come on? One piece of
documentable evidence. Water levels from toilet use plummets. Meanwhile
others are exploring other rooms for answers. Stand by...
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