BRING BACK THE COMEDIANS & THE MARTIANS

Our nation's -- actually our world's -- biggest problem today is the mounting danger from our person-to-person disconnect. The less we understand and like one another, the more probable will be today's incessant crises. From paralyzing political gridlock...to nihilistic protest movements...to bloody border conflicts...to cataclysmic global wars. How in God's (or Darwin's) name do we avoid this...?

There are no lack of solutions or saviors. Lately, anyone with a placard or a website is ready to qualify. OK then, here's a couple of simple suggestions: First, bring back the comedians! Second, bring back the Martians!

No lack of clever comedians today. We've got everyone from Chris Rock to Bill Maher to the 101 below-the-belt standups on cable and in clubs all across the nation. But these guys are all angry. They all get their laughs out of knocking down icons, and ridiculing everything their mothers used to wash out their mouth for saying. Funny...? Well, yeah like we used to think pulling off scabs in the schoolyard was funny.

However, not so long ago our comedians played the laugh game in reverse. They poked fun at themselves and at the world in which we all move. Jack Benny...George Burns...Gracie Allen...Phyllis Diller...Danny Thomas...Bob Newhart...Bill Cosby. Funny ...? Yeah, but not because they were machine-gunning libidinous jokes about the all the authority figures they felt didn't like them, and all the people they knew would never go to bed with them. It was a gentler more we're-all-in-this-together humor that tended to bond not infuriate their audiences.

Also, not so long ago we believed there might be Martians who could invade our earth. They were perhaps the single most likely force or fear that might finally overcome the perverse differences among our planet's disputing populations. But once we learned no such attack is likely, we just may have lost mankind's last best chance for standing shoulder to shoulder instead of toe to toe.

Bringing back our comedians and our Martians -- are these two unlikely suggestions still possible? Well, they may not be as impossible as they sound. The gentler-kinder comedians are no further away than an old-time cable rerun or a re-released recording. Then see how angry you still feel! As for the Martians, take a big breath-taking look at our little blue planet from the Space Shuttle. Then see how long you can still pretend we're not all in this together!

I'm thinking both these ideas should be required at the next UN Security Council or session of Congress. I mean, it's not as if these guys have found anything better to do with their time lately...