WHEN IT'S FUN TAKING PILLS

When we reach a certain age, now admit it, we start getting prescriptions from our doctors. Whereas they once smiled, "See you in a year!" they now hand you a RX order and intone, "Make sure I see you in three months!"

Your first prescription in life is a kinda jolt. All these years the machine worked and your sorta assumed it always would. Now, all of an anatomical sudden, there are some squeaks and pings. The mechanic with the stethoscope prescribes some new lubrications. Gradually their numbers sneak up on you. So that one surprising day, this once glorious beach body is fumbling through a spectacle of nine pills each day.

I can't complain, though. After all, each one is prettier than the next. Red with a tinge of sky blue...orange coupled with pine green...and my personal favorite, the big cream one flecked with a hint of tan. Besides, my television commercials assure me these will make my life as rapturous as all those people running through morning meadows (pay no attention to the side effects behind that emerald curtain).

Why bother you with my pill regimen...? I take this as my public duty. To those who have yet to need any, as well as to those already guzzling their daily dose. My veteran advice is this -- to fit into the great all-American pill culture, just let your imagination roam free!

For instance. Every pill I take for my reflux, I imagine all those magnificent nights when i could consume hot pizzas and cold beers with joyful abandon. Every pill for my blood pressure, I imagine all those furiously happy games and races I could play without skipping a beat. Every pill for migraines, I imagine all those young years when I was gracefully too stupid to understand my world was tottering on the edge of its own madness every morning.

So you see, pills can be taken with more than water. Gulp these little suckers with your imagination, and then it's almost fun being sick....