THEM....!

Now let me be honest. Don't you agree, there are simply too many of "them" today?

You know who I mean. All of "them" who are such a problem for the rest of "us." So many immigrants and welfare recipients....Arabs and Mexicans....Jews and Gypsies....gays and ghettoes.

I mean, the rest of "us" know how "they" are dragging down our national greatness like the shiftless anchors they are. And now they've got this Socialist in the White House who wants to take all this money from "us" so he can give it to "them."

This isn't right. I know this for a fact, because Glenn Beck's comedy tour explained it to "us." So does Rush and Ann and Bill and all those other deep thinkers on Fox News, and in the National Review. The way I figure it, their voices are speaking for "us." The problem is with "them." They're always trying to get something from "us" for nothing!

What gets confusing, though, is when "they" insist they're part of the same America "we" are. You wonder, how can that be...? How can un-Americans call themselves Americans...? The way I remember it, there was not a single immigrant on the Mayflower when it landed here. And there sure weren't any Arabs or Jews or Gays. Hell, those wonderful folks were all big-A Americans, right? Gee, John Wayne explained all that if you were only paying attention.

Now some of you bleeding-hearts out there may disagree with me. And that's your big-A American right. But just answer me this: Was George Washington some welfare-sucking, Mexican gay guy or what....???

As I reluctantly return to my locked cell, I rest my case....