OK, I admit it. Despite my best Luddite instincts, I've succumbed to the magic of cyberspace. Emails ... websites... facebooks. But now suddenly when this same magic keeps me from buying the Folgers Coffee I like, I feel morally obliged to post this condemnation as an apocalyptic warning for all to see...!
The plot is simple enough. I've been buying Folgers Singles in my local supermarket for years. Suddenly, it's no longer on the shelves. I wait a week assuming it was just on back-order. But no, it's still not there. Nor the next week. Enough! I corner the manager with, "Mike, what's happened to the Folgers Singles?" His answer slams home like a missile. "You don't like it, so I don't stock it."
"Wait a minute, I never told you that." "Sorry, but yes you did." "What the hell are you talking about?" "About the computer tally on our coffee sales. 34.7% of you no longer buy Folgers Singles." "So then that means you -- " "That's right, it means I drop the item. Done, through, finished!"
My point? My outrage? Well, if I have to explain it, than you too have been mesmerized by the magic. The black magic of the computer which now marshals all its enormous digital powers to analyze, decipher and decide for us!
Mike knows I like Folgers Singles. But never mind that. Mike's computers report I don't. And so, fellow coffee-drinkers and quasi-Luddites, you and I have lost the war. Our computer slaves have risen up with all the coiled fury of a Spartacus or a Hal. From coffee to health-care, from eBay to Hollywood, from peace to war, they not we now have the final word.
Laugh if you wish, but I tell you this is no laughing matter! We're on the cusp of an ominous new age! And I can't even get my cup of Folgers in order to confront it....!
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The computer may bring bad news via Mike, but there are a lot of websites that still sell the item you are looking for....just do a Google search :-)
ReplyDeleteBut I do see your point...not every cyber issue would be solved that easily.
Thanks...obviously users like you have a better grip. Maybe in time I'll learn...
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