WHEN 2 + 2 = 10

Groucho Marx -- like his admirers Woody Allen and Dick Cavett -- has this philosophical twist to his humor. Sayeth the irreverent heretic: "What have future generations ever done for us?" The answer it would seem is absolutely nothing. But, oh, what past generations have done to us!

Consider how the mass media have for years taught us that 2+2 = 10. A clever piece of math if there ever was one. Basically it comes down to this. Find a few instances out of the ordinary...headline them with a lot of splash and sizzle...then leave your stunned audiences with the clear implication that these exceptions prove the rule. The rule being whatever the media is trying to sensationalize during this particular news cycle.

The math is really quite simple. One deep-sea oil rig blows; all rigs suddenly become a national threat. Several people die from a patented medicine; an entire category of remedies is now deemed dangerous. 6% of priests are found guilty of child molestation; a worldwide Church is quickly charged with pedophilia. A group of public pensioners are found to be double-dipping; the whole pension system should be brought down. A lot of cops are on the take; the police department is corrupt. The economy is after 18 months finally growing again but jobs have yet to catch up; whoever's in charge of the economy should be shot.

This week the quarterback had more passes than sacks; it's clear what we said about him last week is no longer true until he messes up again next week. Another Hollywood marriage goes bust; film making is an abomination of God. Iran rattles its missiles; it's time to think of making a first-strike assault. A gotcha-video catches several members of Congress and the CIA in compromising situations; there isn't one decent official in the entire capitol.

A question looms here. When and who decided that news is only bad news? That the few constitute the many? That 2 + 2 = 10? That reporting is essentially scooping, and scooping is essentially finding the worstest the fastest?

Oh wait a minute.

Is it possible we're the ones who have so decided? That in our own drab little lives we need something to fear, someone to hate, somehow a story that rages about "the speak of sawdust in our brother's eye, but not the plank in our own." [That's from Matthew 7:3. You know, that ancient book recent reporting has found so full of myths and mistakes!]