THE FINAL FRONTIER OF TOP-10 LISTS

It's a given in American pop culture that there are top-10 lists for almost everything. So what about a top-10 list for givens:

* It's a given that sexy girls in ads are used to sell everything from spark plugs to botox. Who, though, drafted the masterplan saying the girls must project not only radiant hair and fulsome bust, but always with half-closed eyes and slyly-opened lips...?

* It's a given that we crave those comfort foods filled with fat, salt and sugar. Who, though, designed each to kill us while satisfying us...?

* It's a given that in democratic elections it's open season on your rivals. Who, though, always finds the funds to mount enormous but irrelevant lies, such as the Swiftboaters turning Kerry from war hero to coward, and now CNN turning Obama from Christian professor to Muslim fanatic...?

* It's a given for TV shows to compete for audiences. Who, though, dictated they should collide at the same viewing times rather than be slotted at different times so they wouldn't have to split their audiences...?

* It's a given that money-can't-buy-happiness. Who, though, put up the money to fund the Princeton economists who recently reported that, in some economic strata, money actually can...?

* It's a given that smoking is bad for us. Who, then, constitutes the one in five who continue to smoke...?

* It's a given that American workers are driven to be increasingly productive. Why, though, are 50% of them so driven they don't even take all their vacation days..?

* It's a given that cars are faster than ever. Who, though, can explain that car collisions have actually dropped by 9.7% in the last two years...?

* It's a given that men think of life like a sports game. Who, though, can clarify this when 90% of men can't play sports...?

* It's a given that when you climb a tall stairway, you reach for a handrail. Who, though, in some distant past somehow came up with this exquisitely simple concept? This is a question largely asked by those of us old and puffy enough to desperately love and need handrails....