WHAT'S REALLY REAL IN LIFE?

Has this ever happened to you? Sure it has! You're in your weekend grubbies picking up some milk at the store. You see some people standing outside a nearby church. Wedding or funeral, they're all in their finest. Neat black suits, sparkling white dresses, impeccably shaved and made-up. For a moment, you feel like maybe you should hide somewhere...

Here's one of those little mirrors when you suddenly look at yourself and ask: "What's really real in life? Showing up at your best at important moments, or just showing up as you are each new morning..?"

Maybe this is how to look at the question. Life comes in two parts -- the on-stage part and the back-stage part. Both really are real; but each calls for a different part and heart of us to show up. On stage -- at weddings, funerals, events -- we're inclined to bring our best self. Our best effort. I mean, this in the best sense is a performance. And performances do call for our best.

Backstage is different. Effort, yes; performance, no. Backstage -- most of those hours in most of those days in most of our life -- is mainly a matter of doing what needs to be done, more than what others expect us to do. Eating, reading, resting, watching, throwing out the garbage, getting the bills paid on time. No one's watching, so no need for a performance.

Does the difference mean our backstage self is somehow less? Not really. Just distinct, and yet at the same time, complementary. The better we use our time backstage, the better we probably have to offer when we're onstage. In an actor's terms, it calls for a good audition...good rehearsals....learning your lines...knowing when and where to move on stage.... most of all, getting to really understand the part you're playing.

If, as Shakespeare insists, life is a stage and we're all players, then the best way for the audience to get comfortable with our role, is first for us to get comfortable with it. But that, my fellow players, usually takes the better part of a lifetime...