IF I WERE KING; BETTER YET IF I WERE GOD!

We are now into the God-season of the year. Even if you don't believe in him, you have to admit he's got center stage for the next 30 days. Makes some of us think about what we'd do if we were God. Just for a day. I don't know about you, but I've given this 4-star scenario some serious consideration. My first trick would be a big one -- no more snow after Christmas Day....!

OK, OK, I realize that might upset the delicate balance of nature, but I figure if I'm God, I could manage that little problem. You see, my contention is that after the charm of Christmas Eve and the celebration of Christmas Day, there is simply no rational reason for anymore of the slushy, freezy white stuff.

Don't get me wrong. The stunning spectacle of a soft snowfall trimming the trees and coating the lawns is a thing of beauty. Especially just before our species has been out there tramping and shoveling and in general messing up this winter work of art. But you see, I (you too?) have lost the magic of my youth. Children, in their wide-eyed, no-car-to-drive innocence, harbor this delicious capacity to see snow as a gift not a grind. To see in a blizzard all sorts of snow forts, snow men, and snowball fights. Oh I remember....! So do you....!

But here's the thing about adulthood that I hate (well, along with taxes, mortgages and arthritis), and that's the dreadful reality that now winters are no longer simple seasons for happy imaginations. From now on, they are grueling times of snowed-in cars, snow-jammed traffic, and snow-hampered treks between any point A and any point B. If you live in places like Chicago and you're older than 13 -- winter is hard to love!

I am reminded that many adults still love the winter-time, but as I calculate it, this is only when they're skating and skiing, not when they're struggling to get to work.

So there's my fantasy. To be God for a day and make Chicago winter go away the morning after Christmas. What would replace it...? There would have to be some sort of a new season between December 26 and March 21. I'm still working on that. But I assure you it would be a season much warmer, greener and gentler than the one we're about to face. Oh I know -- I could call it Santa Barbara...!