Conspiracy theories today are a confused public's easiest way to find some purpose to the random purposelessness of a chaotic world. With some villains, at least the absolute terror of existing in a world in which no one is in charge is relieved a little. At least now there is some kind of explanation, and he/she/it can be identified and pursued.
This is what Oliver Stone and tell-all blogs are for....!
Not to say there are no actual conspiracies and conspirators, because there are. But lately some of them are getting more inscrutable than ever. Consider for example the newest and sneakiest -- what they've done in all those crowd scenes in Angelina Jolie's hit movie "Salt."
Oh, you hadn't noticed...? Well, conspiracy fans, here's the secret lowdown. All those people in all those crowd scenes aren't really people. That's right, they've conspiratorially used 500 inflatable dolls instead. The plot...? Well, now they can avoid hiring extras. Save a bundle. Get it? They are slowly but insidiously out to replace actors with dolls. Just like they already have replaced tollway cashiers, bank clerks, assembly line workers, and half the American labor force with computers.
Look, my friends, this is big. Very big. They are saving costs at the expense of people's earnings all in order to line their pockets with added profits. It's cowboy capitalism at its robber baron worst. You never thought about it this way? Well, we have private meetings at undisclosed locations every few weeks where we can share what each of us has gathered about these conspiracies. Including of course the on-going UFO master plot.
Who are "we" you ask? Well, we're the American people, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take this anymore. Who are "they?" Well, they're all those invisible rich bastards who live in gated estates, drive foreign cars, own jets and yachts and overseas plantations, hob nob with fellow conspirators like that guy without a birth certificate in the White House, and in general are descendants of the ruling classes from the lost land of Atlantis!
Don't laugh...that's what they count on. And as soon as I'm released, I intend to go public with this on all the networks. Which won't be easy, because "they" own them too....!
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General Patton started this trick back in 1944. They've been "inflating" things ever since!!!
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