LETS KEEP FEAR ALIVE

And now for the latest flash of fear -- smoking can trigger dementia!

As if cancer and emphysema weren't frightening enough, Kaiser Permanente research center tracked 21,000 heavy smokers to reach this conclusion in USA TODAY. And a valuable conclusion it is. Yet, is this not another reflection of a national obsession? To rush to journalistic judgment about whatever some someone believes may be lurking somewhere out there.

Neanderthal felt this every time he risked leaving his cave, and so he existed in a permanent state of fear. But I ask -- how different is this from Homo Sapiens today? And just in case you weren't aware of any possible fears, we have the multi-billion-dollar pharmaceutical industry and its weekly press releases to make sure you are.

Surely knowledge is power, and therefore to know these threats is important. On the other and scarier hand, to keep knowing them, even when still only theories, can be downright harmful to your health. Take all those non-smokers, vegetarians and joggers who -- contrary to statistical projections -- die before their time. I admit in-activists like me use such reports to excuse ourselves from any rigorous regimens, but still....

At one time my friendly neighborhood cigar-smoking doctor used to prescribe the classic two-aspirin-and-call-me-in-the-morning. I did, and it almost always worked. [Ahh but I was in my twenties back then so that anything worked, because there was a vigorous young body doing the healing!] Now at this advanced age, those threats outside my cave seem far more complex, and far less susceptible to self-healing. What then to do...?

Gathering up all the cob-webby wisdom of my many years and experiences, I have arrived at a 3-part conclusion: (1) stop paying such pathological attention to health warnings (2) start doing everything from eating to napping in moderation (3) get used to the chronological fact no one on this side of the ground can really promise you life a minute longer than has been already prescribed for you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an important nap to take...