LIFE'S ALL A MATTER OF TIMING

THE ISLAND OF ICELAND

Here that ornery old hag, Mother Nature, got angry this year. Just like she has over the Icelandic centuries. Of course back when there were no planes, there were no airports to shut down, and millions of passengers to dislocate. So her timing this year was really awful.

Whenever nature does her thing, what counts now is how well humanity times its response. In this case, it seems like folks did what they had to do in time to get it right. That's the way it is with things like volcanoes -- people still haven't learned to prevent them before, so the best they can do is manage them after. And they did.

Score: Mother Nature 0...Humanity 10!

THE GULF OF MEXICO

Here the timing was lousy too. Only here it was not Mother Nature's fault, it was strictly humanity's. A fault now being angrily divided up among several culpable parties. Slice it anyway you wish, but here we're learning the human race botched things very badly indeed.

The botching prospects rise in direct proportion to the quantity and quality of technologies mankind has to play with. I mean, the club and the wheel didn't provide a lot of opportunities to mess the world up. However, modern zip-dee-do technical feats are miracles of ingenuity just waiting for some hammerhead to mis-time and mis-use them. The timing of the technological talents in the Gulf couldn't have been worse. Now a big part of the planet suffers.

Score: Mother Nature 10....Humanity 0!

THE PUBLIC SQUARE

A third place where timing is everything. In a democratic society, the public square is supposed to provide a free and full contest of ideas. Currently, though, the contest has swelled into a war. America's "culture war."

Here the sound-bite and the headline are the foot soldiers of the campaigns. Timing your attacks are critical, and style is almost always more essential than substance. To be remembered, you have to say it memorably. Even at the expense of accuracy. That's why everyone has their own stable of ghost writers.

But now here's the problem. Perfecting the timing of a great line or a scathing joke is OK for movies and standups, but surely not for serious national figures, right? Wrong! Some of the very same ghost-writers are working for the pols like they do for the stars.

Score: Everyone ...0!