WEDDING BELLS AND WHAT THEY'RE CHIMING

It's that time again. That wedding time of year. But what do you do when in the middle of the ceremony someone actually answers the if-anyone-has-reason-to-object part? In New York a woman stood up and announced she was having an affair with the groom.The bride sued her seeking damages for "emotional distress on my wedding day." Later the judge offered this counsel: "Your best revenge on a woman trying to steal your husband is to let her keep him!"

There may be other good counsel for May and June brides trembling on the brink of this ageless and still evolving institution:

* When everyone gets into the usual argument over which family and friends absolutely must be included in the limited invitation list, remember this comforting rule: None of the guests really care
* When you select the bridesmaids and groomsmen, remember these are people you like, so please don't insist on dressing them in outfits so nuptially melodramatic even children snicker
* When you hire a videographer, don't be intimidated by all the lights and lens; remember it's still your wedding not theirs
* When you hire a singer, you may want to select someone who works in a choir, because remember: Every soloist is always auditioning, and this is your day not theirs
* When you're having the wedding pictures taken, really really try to remember this is no one-shot affair; you and your kids may have to look at this shot in your home every day of your life
* When you arrange the meal for the reception, remember the age-honored rule: Chicken is cheap, but can always sound richer by the name of the sauce the chef puts on it
* When you hire the band, remember to go over their music list and outfits beforehand; loud in either of those categories is not what you want
* When the bride meets the groom at the altar, this isn't the place to ask about last night's bachelor party

One more thought. Churches and temples are still the preferred wedding venue in our culture. Thank God, most couples agree it's good to invite God to the wedding. Now it's even better if you invite him for the marriage!