Friday, July 1, 2011

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY'RE REPORTING NOW

Celebrated historian Stephen Ambrose wrote something most historians wouldn't: "God created man with a penis and a brain, but only gave him enough blood to run one at a time." Lets consider that statement. Especially in the light of several recent studies:

* As reported on BBC, a new Oxford University study shows that in pre-historic times, females moved away from the tribe and region of their birth after puberty while males stayed closer to home. Study author Matt Sponheimer said there is no definitive way of explaining why, but suggests: "Females sought foreign mates to prevent in-inbreeding, which was a smart thing to do."

* As reported in MarketWatch.com, a new study by Barclays Capital found: "Women were more likely to make money in the market mostly because they didn't take many risks; they bought and held." Financial investor David Wiedner added: "This is deflating news for us men, but there is hope. We still lead the field in self-destructing, because of our pride, overconfidence, and hubris."

Readers can make of these news reports what they will. One point of agreement, though -- today's 24 hour tide of news is so enormous, we need help in deciphering it all. Enter the mesmerizing modernity of today's flashy Headlines & Soundbites. Neither of which, by the way, is a simple study in summarizing. Hardly! God has created special kinds of people with special kinds of talents for saying a lot with a little.

In the old days such specialists were not to be found. Consider how Moses dragged out the Lord's voice into ten wordy commandments...how Jefferson refused to stop with just "all men are created equal"...how the Supreme Court decisions can run into hundreds of pages.

Not today. Not for today's busy people. We want it quick, we want it short, and we want it fully digested. After all there are ball games, sit-coms and reality shows waiting for us. Besides, we all know the code by now anyway. I mean we can fill in the blanks right on the spot:

* "New FDA Policy Announced" ~~ of course means there's new drug explanation of why the last explanation is no longer the explanation!

* "Republicans Tell It Like It Is" ~~ of course means they have found a new way of telling us why the White House hasn't got a clue!

* Democrats Vote As A Bloc" ~~ of course means their bloc is blocking the other bloc so that another paid-day in Congress earned nothing for the people!

See...? Simple...! Just like us...!

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