There's this guy in Colorado who's been banned from the local Safeway stores for a whole year. They say he offended a buxom female employee while ordering chicken breasts thusly: "I like the large ones." The issue here is to which breasts was he pointing!
But maybe there's an even larger issue at stake. The fella was in his 60s, and I'm thinking he's thinking like I've been thinking ever since I stumbled into my 70s: Now's the time! The time to stop repressing everything inside your Puritanical code of social ethics. Have a little innocent fun bantering with people you meet. OK, perhaps the Colorado dude was out of line. However, I ask myself: Am I out of line when I banter around my community...? Or am I simply feeling free at last to kibitz with strangers...? Or are my caring daughters correct when they advise old Dad to think twice before speaking...? Or is my psychiatrist son right in just shrugging with clinical indulgence...?
For instance.
Whenever I see off-duty cops having meal together, I can't help going up to them and telling them how glad folks are for their protection. Of course there are times when they start reaching for their weapon as I approach, but I take that to simply be their surprise at a cop compliment.
Whenever I see a beautiful, well-dressed woman shopping in the supermarket, I can't help but tell them what a pleasure it is to share the aisles with them. So far, not one has snarled or tried to slap me. I take that to mean either they like what they heard or they can see how totally harmless I am.
Whenever I notice a baby in some mother's arms, I can't help but smile and wave at them. The baby, not the mother. And while the infants are sometimes startled, I take the parent's nod as a pleased thank you.
Whenever I see a gaggle of teens texting somewhere in town, I can't help but make some remark about their generation's dazzling but distracting technology. Guy teens often stare back quizzically, but gal teens tend to giggle. I take that to mean they've just found a senior who's willing to communicate rather than grouse.
Well, as you can see, my sympathies lie with the old fella in Colorado who I take to have been just another friendly banterer like me. But then, I'm not entirely sure about this. Especially when my daughters start whispering to my son about the symptoms of rapid-onset silliness!
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As another older guy, I share your impulse to lose your impulse controls. However, nothing harmful to others from either of us.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ken, as I say to myself: If not now, when...?
ReplyDeleteTick, tick, tick.
Though I have never been arrested for being nice to a passing Policeman, [our mob are not armed as such, so can only finger their trunchions], I have found that the old style of being a Gentleman, and opening a door for a Lady, and inviting her to walk through first, is treated with suspicion, but I still do it.
ReplyDeletePassing a compliment to a Lady about her Dress, is treated the same way, though one or two, smile. Mind you, being a true coward, I never do that if my Wife is there, but that is only a matter of not wishing to be under suspicion from her for the rest of the day, and having to agree to buy her, a dress just like the one the other Lady was wearing, 'As I seemed to like it so much !'.
In the old days, it was fine to smile at a child, and even give her/him, a sweet, but this is frowned on nowadays, and can lead to being reported to any passing Security Officer, or Policeman.
But, when out on my own, it is very hard not to look at some of the younger females walking by, more so in the summer months, and tends to be very dangerous, as I have walked into many holes being dug by our City Council all over the City. I think they are doing archeological digs looking for lost drains or electrical power lines or possibly for other teams who set out to dig a hole, and have not been seen again.
This is also a major problem, when driving my car, and though we are warned not to use our mobiles, watch in car TV, eat our meals, or read a book, when driving, nobody has ever mentioned the many car crashes caused by a pretty young woman crossing a road, or walking past on the pavement.
Old age has its problems also in this respect, as sometimes I am forced to change my glasses many times, just to be able to see the young woman more clearly, and I find I walk into lamp posts more often nowadays while searching, or trying to remember in which pocket the correct glasses are kept.
Life is hell sometimes!
Alfie ~ You have just resonated with each and every one of my feelings & experiences. I guess old guys about our age have a lot in common. Most of these commonalities are, I think, rather pleasant. Especially the youngpassing girls...!
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