Experts are forever prowling for facts and stats in their pursuit of knowledge. Be it about the state of the solar system, the earth, the climate, the infrastructure, or right down to our underwear...!
If that sounds a little peculiar, never forget that our experts are dogged in their pursuit of facts and stats. Whenever and wherever they may lead them. I mean, facts and stats are to young experts what Viagra is to old men.
Lest you imagine all this be frivolous, let the record show that no less an expert than former Federal Reserve chief Alan Greenspan has weighed in on the great tale-of-the-underwear. Especially men's underwear. While at first blush this may seem beyond the purview of economics, Mr Greenspan states that our underwear have a great deal to do with economics.
Mr. G. reasons thusly: "Because hardly anyone actually sees a guy's undies, they're the first thing men stop buying when the economy tightens." Now here we have a towering expert reaching down with his wisdom right into the bowels of our bedroom! Perhaps that might be stated more scientifically, but if you're a guy reading this, you get the point.
And Mr. Greenspan's point is sharpened on the tip of some startling new facts and stats. "In the last 12 months, underwear sales have declined a full 12%." Whether or not Team Obama has noted this fall-off is not known, but then we can't see their underwear for any sort of documentable verification.
One hopes that this bold new information is not dismissed too lightly. True, most of us don't monitor our underwear wardrobe for any percentile changes, but if an economist of Greenspan's stature can, then who are we to laugh this off?
Of course, one of the inherent problems with the expertise of most experts is that they invest most of it in plotting data. Which means the past. When they venture into the future -- offering their speculations extrapolated from their indicators -- the experts are on shakier ground. Whether they're wearing new underwear or not!
Still, some of them have taken the great tale-of-the-underwear to project, "Until sales start growing again 2-3% a year, a sustained economic recovery may not be real."
These experts have suggested this rate might not be reached until 2013. I don't know what your reaction is, but mine is to start buying more new underwear. Which leads not to an economic quandary but a personal
one: Jockeys or shorts....?
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Both Mr Greenspan and Mr. Spatafora do not cite the growing truth: "NOTHING". More and more guys are free-balling it and, to hear some tell it, with improved social interaction!
ReplyDeleteJay, you have just transcended the wisdoms of both medicine and economics here! I stand in awe....
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