Don't know if any national pollster ever called and asked your opinions. None ever did me. Making you wonder exactly who and why the people they poll are supposed to represent us. But if I were to take these psuedo-scientific surveys seriously, here's one question I'd ask you, thereby learning a great great deal about you:
Which section of the newspaper and/or website do you read first...?
* If you answer the op/eds, I'm guessing you're an idea person. Someone who sees the clash of values in the marketplace of ideas as the through-line to the historical narrative of your times. Be they sensible or non-sensible, these are the driving forces to the age in which you find yourself
* Many people turn first to the sports pages. Here a variety of satisfying emotional outlets. Perhaps your unfulfilled appetite for physical glory, or the voyeuristic gratification for the power of conquest, or maybe just the feeling of psychic safety in a make-believe world of mathematical order
* The business pages grab many people's attention first. Rarely the poor; mostly the well-to-do looking to understand new and better ways to do well in this capitalist economy. If only these experts could spin their wisdoms for you about what tomorrow holds as well as they do reporting what yesterday did
* The obituaries have a compelling interest for some. Rarely the young for whom death has no meaning. Usually the elderly for whom death is no longer an un-recognizable phantom. The obits tell you who among your friends have left this mortal coil, what seems to be the current age limits on life, oh and also some small reassurance that you still haven't reached yours
* Personally I go straight to the comics. Perky...concise...funny...but at the same time sorta wise in the way these little characters comment on the foibles that are us
After-thought. The reason I don't start with the business pages is they always seem a tad silly. Seem to play weather forecaster for the economy, when we all know how little weather forecasters can forecast much of anything! Calvin Coolidge once said something my dear Father also believed: "The business of America is business!" Two things about that gospel have always bothered me: (1) Big business is so often mostly about the business of making us want things we probably don't really need; (2) successful big business surely prove the enormous value of capitalism, only so little of that value ever trickles down to the workers and consumers.
You can see why I find the comics easier to read....
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