GOING TO BED WITH STATISTICS

There's a rumor going around that statistics are the ultimate manifestation of authenticity in our lives. You know, throw some numbers against the wall, and those that stick suddenly become the law of the land..!

The Pew Opinion Center has taken up where Gallup left off in making these proclamations. This percent of Hispanics eat tacos, this percent of white urbanites vote liberal, this percent of church-goers fall asleep during the sermons, etc etc etc.

This is not to say Pew or statistics are useless. It is to say that everything depends on how one reads and uses the statistics. Here, lets take four new sets of numbers, and see what we can make of them:

1. For the first time in the history of food gathering, the UN estimates 10% (500 million) of the world's adults are currently obese from over-eating

2. Since 2000, 79% of the US population growth has been among Blacks, Asians and Hispanics; in 10 states, Whites are now the new minority

3. This year's Super Bowl was seen by 111 millions viewers, the largest TV audience in US history

4. Biographies of Hollywood legend Humphrey Bogart continue to grow by 40-50% each new year

To show how stats can be used in remarkably different ways, try some of these conclusions on for size:

1. McDonald's greasy french fries have now reached the farthest flung corners of the world's corners...!

2. In 10 states the White population is too busy watching reality TV to really have sex at night....!

3. The Super Bowl may be the only time this many Americans share anything in common at the very same time since the long ago days of radio when everyone gathered around their living sets to listen to Jack Benny, Lux Radio Theatre or an FDR fireside chat...!

4. As more and more college students put aside their in-bred sense of exceptionalism to watch old re-runs of Bogart's classic "Casablanca," more and more are re-discovering what Americans once believed about themselves. Tough on the outside, loving on the inside, and not afraid to put corny values like God, Country and Love ahead of Wall Street careers....!

OK, # 1 & # 2 were for laughs. But I assure you, # 3 & # 4 were for real..........