The name is far too inadequate. "Off-handed" remarks should more likely be called "off-hearted." Because you don't have to be a Freudian or a Jungian to understand these un-rehearsed comments slip out from somewhere deep inside the heart. The heart where we shroud most of our most important feelings.
Politicians utter them -- usually when they go off script or think they're off-mike. Teachers and clergy sometimes simply can't help themselves, permitting a private frustration to deviate from the public lecture or homily. Lovers too engage in these unscripted moments, often with some un-loving consequences.
If you were to tally your day you could total up a dozen or so such off-hearted remarks. Most floating harmlessly out there in the conversational atmosphere. "Hey, it's been awhile...!" "Looking good for yourself...!" "We have to get together...!"
Comments like these are not always meant to be taken literally. Or even seriously. Still, they should be taken into account when you're tallying up your day or sizing up its commentators. Words have roots that trace deep into feelings which trace deeper still into values which in turn are the result of life-experiences too many to identify.
Psychiatrists make a living dissecting such things as off-hearted remarks. The classic joke: One psychiatrist meets another and says "good morning." The second psychiatrist smiles back but thinks "I wonder what he meant by that?" Clearly, too much introspection can lead to morbidity.
Still, off-hearted remarks are part of the landscape to the portraits of our days. And every now and then, one of them will catch us by happy surprise. One all-time favorite stands out: "I've missed you...!" When you hear that one -- and you do whether you've been paying attention or not -- most likely it's one heart saying to your heart something important. And endearing. And well worth taking personally in this otherwise terribly impersonal world.
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"I've missed you...!" ..... Yes .... need we say more?
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