LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

I've heard of investigative reporters, but you now have a special-ops one as well (Sun Times, Oct 29). Her name is Sandra Guy, and her cunning report from behind enemy lines was tucked into page 18. Any counter-intelligence agency -- or holiday shopper -- will be glad to get their hands on it...!

A compact summary that could have been squeezed onto a carrier pigeon, this report lays out the retailers' battle plan for the big 8-week campaign coming up. Great espionage, and your reporter lived to tell the tale. For instance, the names of the large emporiums that will announce major discounts and deals...the retailers who plan to add on-line layaway packages...the company coming up with a Black-Friday deal every Saturday from now to Christmas.

Hey, any general should be so lucky to have such intelligence days before the battle!

Of course, intelligence is only as good as its user. Put these secret reports into the hands of holiday-greedy kids, and they'll gobble them up in a reckless buying spree. With all due respect, the same might be said for some of the thrifty women who traditionally have to do all the shopping while their husbands watch football. Probably the smartest user will be the grandmothers.

They remember something of the Great Depression, so they've seen retailers on the prowl like this before. They know something about their strategies and their small print. So grandma is probably the best one to study this document, and design a pre-emptive strike.

There are 00 days to go. Let the games begin....!