I have this dear friend who lives in the palmy perfections of Santa Barbara, California. There with many of the stars, celebrities, and Oprah. Only recently he shared a remarkable secret residing on one of the city's green side streets...!
I'm not allowed to mention her name, but she is well known among the stars, celebrities and possibly Oprah. Ethel is her name, and Gloria Swanson's iconic role in Sunset Boulevard is her nature. The dark 1920s architecture of her home has everything the movie did except Erich von Stroheim.
What madam Ethel is secretly known for is her talent -- her gift, really -- for training stars and celebrities to be stars and celebrities. Oh yes, stardom and celebritom don't come without practice. I'm not at liberty to use the names of the clients, but here are some of the ingenuities madam Ethel specializes in.
For starlets on a night on the town with their publicist -- the sudden turn of the head to the cameras to highlight the cheekbones, offer a wisp of blond hair over the eye, and the compelling half-opened-mouth that says to every man: "I want you."
For rockers getting ready for their tour -- that certain primitive plant of the wide-apart legs that offer a hint of genitalia packaged inside the tight jeans. Rockers master their notes in rehearsal, but madam Ethel knows precisely how they can master their narcissism in her mirrored studio. I humbly admit to vowing never again to sing in my shower.
For athletes between seasons -- many of them work with her to perfect the look. The proper steely squint, the set jaw, the ecstasy of the teethy roar, and of course the photographable pump of the fist into the air. And you thought this was spontaneous.
For news anchors looking to advance their careers from say the station in DesMoines to the network in New York, this astonishing guru focuses on the techniques that most distinguish the memorable from the just adequate. It's all in the hands. Especially the way they're used to hold, to sort and at the end to tap those papers in front of you. Whenever you see one of the anchors' hands doing this with that certain effortless flair, you're seeing Ethel's work.
But now that television has segued into the era of the ordinary -- ordinary Joe the plumber and Jane the hooker -- this remarkable Santa Barbara resident is training them as well. How to appear ordinary and un-rehearsed while rehearsing in front of all those cameras, lights and cheap network executives who prefer inexpensive reality shows.
I tell you this frankly -- that little lady is helping shape the culture of an entire nation! As of now, only my friend and I know her name. And unless The National Enquirer offers an appropriate fee, her secret is safe with us....
Saturday, June 6, 2009
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND YOUR OWN NAME IN THE TEXTBOOKS?
"You're one of a kind!" "You're an unrepeatable act!" "You're an exception!"
In recent American generations, commendations like these have been energizing and propelling the human spirit. Never more so than in the case of the boomer generation with their young. Ready cash, cars, clothes, curriculum, and summer camps have for years given them a sense of entitlement. An entitlement that now in this recession may be bumping into its very first: "Who says so!?"
Truth be known, though, almost all Americans think of themselves as exceptions. It's only in our later -- much later -- years that a remarkable suspicion dawns upon us. "Maybe I'm really not all that exceptional. Actually I'm rather textbook!" And therein lies a tale to be told.
As we first encounter them -- thoughts, feelings, urges, fears, shames, symptoms -- it's quite natural to deal with them as first-time-facts. After all, this is the first time I've had them, right?. What the happy ignorance of youth fails to report is that these exact same thoughts, feelings, urges, fears, shames and symptoms have been going on in the human species for millions of years. Philosophers like to call it the Human Condition. No one since the dawn of time has been exempted.
For those of an empirical bent, your confirmation is right there in your textbooks. Check it out. As the pollsters and authors report their results, notice the numbers. Those percentiles in which most people fit. Then check where you fit. Right! Virtually every time your thoughts, feelings, urges fears, shames and symptoms are very much the same as most people. You see, we're not so different after all.
That's the empiricism of it. But now what about the affect of it? In other words, just how do we feel about discovering we're not all that exceptional...?
There's no textbook data on that question. It's answered quite privately by each and every one of us. For some it's shattering. How can it be that with all my exceptionalism -- parents, home, schools, IPhones and computer centers -- I'm so very much like everyone else? Under a new president facing a new world, the same question is occurring to the American people about their nation.
For others, this realization is more freeing than shattering. For them there's something comforting about not bearing the burden of being so exceptional...so unique....so one of a kind. After all, what's so bad about going-with-flow, and finding all the others right there in the same flow with you...?
In recent American generations, commendations like these have been energizing and propelling the human spirit. Never more so than in the case of the boomer generation with their young. Ready cash, cars, clothes, curriculum, and summer camps have for years given them a sense of entitlement. An entitlement that now in this recession may be bumping into its very first: "Who says so!?"
Truth be known, though, almost all Americans think of themselves as exceptions. It's only in our later -- much later -- years that a remarkable suspicion dawns upon us. "Maybe I'm really not all that exceptional. Actually I'm rather textbook!" And therein lies a tale to be told.
As we first encounter them -- thoughts, feelings, urges, fears, shames, symptoms -- it's quite natural to deal with them as first-time-facts. After all, this is the first time I've had them, right?. What the happy ignorance of youth fails to report is that these exact same thoughts, feelings, urges, fears, shames and symptoms have been going on in the human species for millions of years. Philosophers like to call it the Human Condition. No one since the dawn of time has been exempted.
For those of an empirical bent, your confirmation is right there in your textbooks. Check it out. As the pollsters and authors report their results, notice the numbers. Those percentiles in which most people fit. Then check where you fit. Right! Virtually every time your thoughts, feelings, urges fears, shames and symptoms are very much the same as most people. You see, we're not so different after all.
That's the empiricism of it. But now what about the affect of it? In other words, just how do we feel about discovering we're not all that exceptional...?
There's no textbook data on that question. It's answered quite privately by each and every one of us. For some it's shattering. How can it be that with all my exceptionalism -- parents, home, schools, IPhones and computer centers -- I'm so very much like everyone else? Under a new president facing a new world, the same question is occurring to the American people about their nation.
For others, this realization is more freeing than shattering. For them there's something comforting about not bearing the burden of being so exceptional...so unique....so one of a kind. After all, what's so bad about going-with-flow, and finding all the others right there in the same flow with you...?
Friday, June 5, 2009
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND
Orthodox rabbis and Thomistic theologians are forever on-the-other-handing. There's not a topic on earth for which they can't find a totally opposite point of view. This drives their single-minded friends absolutely crazy. And yet, there's crazy and then there's crazy....!
If you like your world in no-nonsense black&white, this sort of crazy will -- well, it'll drive you crazy. On the other hand (see they have me doing it already!), if you like your world in complex shades of gray, you'll appreciate this type of thinker and their nuances. The black&whiters are easy to spot. People like Harry Truman, General Patton, Clint Eastwood, Tony Soprano, and George Bush II. The gray ones include people like Adlai Stevenson, General Montgomery,Tom Hanks, Mrs. Soprano, and George Bush I.
But wait -- these are not simply academic choices to be chattered about on CNN and the History Channel. In a dictatorship, sure, there's nothing much to chatter about; you learn how to salute, end of civics lesson. However, in a democracy, not knowing the difference between blacks, whites and grays can be downright harmful to your health.
Four classic everyday examples --
* Medicine: Everyone knows the grand promises from the rhapdsodicTV ads and on the cool labels. But it's all those on-the-other-hands written in small print that we better know as well. ICU's and cemeteries are filled with folks who didn't bother reading them. Instead, they chose the flashier "hand" and missed the crucial "other hand."
* News: We've got scores of networks, hundreds of channels, millions of blogs. That's more information per cubic foot of life than any other hundred civilizations in the history of the world. And yet what shines so reassuringly white today can turn into confusing grays tomorrow, and by the next news cycle become down-right black. When any blathering commentator sticks a self-righteous hand in our face, be sure to see if there isn't "another hand" somewhere.
* Sports: Now here we have coaches, managers and columnists to pick our colors for us. At the beginning of each season, every team "has a chance this year to go all the way." That white gets grayer with each blown game and each dumb injury. Later in the year, you know the colors are fading to black whenever everyone starts every sentence with "next year..."
* Love: Strange as it may seem, love belongs on this list too. Today, love is packaged and peddled like every other product here. It's right there waiting for us in our choice of Angelina hair shampoo, Cleopatra skin cleansers, Brad Pitt abs builders, Britney botox-procedures, and Bruce Springsteen sex boosters. Everyone of them shines there before our eager libidinal eyes with glowing white promises. In a culture ruled by the Beautiful People, it's only natural to feel a compulsion to be beautiful too. Beautiful, that is, as defined by the beauty peddlers.
We can't clap with one hand. A handy reminder that in life there's always "the other hand."
If you like your world in no-nonsense black&white, this sort of crazy will -- well, it'll drive you crazy. On the other hand (see they have me doing it already!), if you like your world in complex shades of gray, you'll appreciate this type of thinker and their nuances. The black&whiters are easy to spot. People like Harry Truman, General Patton, Clint Eastwood, Tony Soprano, and George Bush II. The gray ones include people like Adlai Stevenson, General Montgomery,Tom Hanks, Mrs. Soprano, and George Bush I.
But wait -- these are not simply academic choices to be chattered about on CNN and the History Channel. In a dictatorship, sure, there's nothing much to chatter about; you learn how to salute, end of civics lesson. However, in a democracy, not knowing the difference between blacks, whites and grays can be downright harmful to your health.
Four classic everyday examples --
* Medicine: Everyone knows the grand promises from the rhapdsodicTV ads and on the cool labels. But it's all those on-the-other-hands written in small print that we better know as well. ICU's and cemeteries are filled with folks who didn't bother reading them. Instead, they chose the flashier "hand" and missed the crucial "other hand."
* News: We've got scores of networks, hundreds of channels, millions of blogs. That's more information per cubic foot of life than any other hundred civilizations in the history of the world. And yet what shines so reassuringly white today can turn into confusing grays tomorrow, and by the next news cycle become down-right black. When any blathering commentator sticks a self-righteous hand in our face, be sure to see if there isn't "another hand" somewhere.
* Sports: Now here we have coaches, managers and columnists to pick our colors for us. At the beginning of each season, every team "has a chance this year to go all the way." That white gets grayer with each blown game and each dumb injury. Later in the year, you know the colors are fading to black whenever everyone starts every sentence with "next year..."
* Love: Strange as it may seem, love belongs on this list too. Today, love is packaged and peddled like every other product here. It's right there waiting for us in our choice of Angelina hair shampoo, Cleopatra skin cleansers, Brad Pitt abs builders, Britney botox-procedures, and Bruce Springsteen sex boosters. Everyone of them shines there before our eager libidinal eyes with glowing white promises. In a culture ruled by the Beautiful People, it's only natural to feel a compulsion to be beautiful too. Beautiful, that is, as defined by the beauty peddlers.
We can't clap with one hand. A handy reminder that in life there's always "the other hand."
Thursday, June 4, 2009
THE DAYS WHEN TIME COLLAPSES
When you turn a noun into a verb you get words like winterize and christianize. The verbalized noun that most catches the cadence of 21st century America may be "telescope." And it works even without adding any letters.....!
To telescope human activity is to slide and rush things one into the other. Very much what's happening in our world today. Hardly a moment's breath between one news cycle and the next, between triumphs and catastrophes, between humankind at its best then suddenly darkly at its worst. Today's blockbuster film is tomorrow's reduced- price DVD. Today's pop icon is tomorrow's who's-that? Today's paparazzi hero is tomorrow's rehab villain. Today's Susan Boyle sensation is tomorrow's prayer for another cannibalized human life.
Our 24/7 world telescopes everything. Everything that once took years now takes minutes (often even faster than Andy Warhol's infamous 15). So much faster and more inelegantly that our species has relinquishing the art of the pause. the moment. the dream. the hope. the prayer. Quick, no time for such sloth. We're rich and strong and have built our worlds for speed. Our lives for haste. Time is no longer for sipping but for gulping, and once gulped spit out for the next gulp.
But then when we do admit this, we often do so while rushing from this treadmill to the next. Perhaps there's a secret delight in being so rushed. Yes, after all, being rushed can make you feel important. Essential. Existential.
Speed is the drink of the successful; slow is the bitters of the failed. Just ask the I-phoned masters-of-the-universe on Wall Street, in Hollywood studios, at Vegas casinos, on celebrity television, on jets to London and Rome. These are the special people who specialize in today's drug of choice. Telescoping!
Was there once a different pace we lived? To the medieval monastics it was the pastoral past of their saints. To thinkers like Rousseau and artists like Gauguin it was the pre-civilized paradise of nature. To today's new-agers and survivalists and Woody Allen movies and nostalgia shops it's that misty time just before yesterday.
However, did such a slower wiser time really exist? Hard to say for sure. And yet there are those who very much suspect so. Those old enough to have tucked butter-scotch candy, Saturday matinees, summer kites and huckleberry friends into their memory banks. Of course, they have no proof. Nothing certifiable.
Especially nothing that will convince anyone too busy being busy.
To telescope human activity is to slide and rush things one into the other. Very much what's happening in our world today. Hardly a moment's breath between one news cycle and the next, between triumphs and catastrophes, between humankind at its best then suddenly darkly at its worst. Today's blockbuster film is tomorrow's reduced- price DVD. Today's pop icon is tomorrow's who's-that? Today's paparazzi hero is tomorrow's rehab villain. Today's Susan Boyle sensation is tomorrow's prayer for another cannibalized human life.
Our 24/7 world telescopes everything. Everything that once took years now takes minutes (often even faster than Andy Warhol's infamous 15). So much faster and more inelegantly that our species has relinquishing the art of the pause. the moment. the dream. the hope. the prayer. Quick, no time for such sloth. We're rich and strong and have built our worlds for speed. Our lives for haste. Time is no longer for sipping but for gulping, and once gulped spit out for the next gulp.
But then when we do admit this, we often do so while rushing from this treadmill to the next. Perhaps there's a secret delight in being so rushed. Yes, after all, being rushed can make you feel important. Essential. Existential.
Speed is the drink of the successful; slow is the bitters of the failed. Just ask the I-phoned masters-of-the-universe on Wall Street, in Hollywood studios, at Vegas casinos, on celebrity television, on jets to London and Rome. These are the special people who specialize in today's drug of choice. Telescoping!
Was there once a different pace we lived? To the medieval monastics it was the pastoral past of their saints. To thinkers like Rousseau and artists like Gauguin it was the pre-civilized paradise of nature. To today's new-agers and survivalists and Woody Allen movies and nostalgia shops it's that misty time just before yesterday.
However, did such a slower wiser time really exist? Hard to say for sure. And yet there are those who very much suspect so. Those old enough to have tucked butter-scotch candy, Saturday matinees, summer kites and huckleberry friends into their memory banks. Of course, they have no proof. Nothing certifiable.
Especially nothing that will convince anyone too busy being busy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
SUMMERS ARE MADE FOR DISNEY
America has become Disney, and Disney has become America.....!
Starting out here in Chicago during the 20s, even Walt himself might never have imagined all that was to happen. But if today he could, would he approve?
First came the animated classics of the 30s and 40s like Snow White and Bambi. Next, the dazzling theme parks of the 50s and 60s like Disneyland and Disneyworld. Today, Disney has come to mean a fine-tuned cookie factory generating a never-stop assembly line of pre-packaged summertime sensations.
Has Disney Corp learned from America, or has America learned from Disney Corp? Perhaps it doesn't makes any difference anymore, because they both operate the very same way. Find a demographic market (giggly pre-teens or sentimental elders, inner-city poor or country club rich, whatever), crunch the numbers (polls, surveys, focus groups, whatever), then package a product that fits that market (summer blockbuster, television series, touring singer, video game, pc, candidate, whatever).
Is it too cynical to say that this way virtually everything and everyone becomes another product launch? And sure enough, usually in the good old summertime when people have the most time to bite the bait.
American capitalism and free enterprise are part of our proud heritage, but do we cheapen the heritage when we invest as much time packaging as we do perfecting the product? Ahh, but then that's not really a problem is it, because in a throwaway culture, no product is made to last too long anyway. A few cases in point.....
In just the last 12 months, Disney has given us the flashy package called Hannah Montana, now the triple-flash package called the Jonas Brothers, and waiting in the wings the salsa flash called Selena Gomez. But watch closely, kids, in another 12 months the Disney Imagineers promise still flashier products coming off the line.
Not to be outdone in the flash-today-gone-tomorrow game, A,erica during those same 12 months has given us Mitt Romney, Rod and Patti Blagojevich, Drew Pearson, Ron Burris, a dozen new reality shows, and a very gifted but exploited Susan Boyle.
Remember the names, folks, because they're here today, forgotten tomorrow. That's Disney! That's America! And, lets admit it, that's us!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
5 MINUTE POP QUIZ YOU CAN ALL PASS
From the earliest times of organized societies, societies organized around a division-of-labor. Someone had to milk the goats...someone had to fashion the arrows....someone had to skin the kill. Each person had a role, and it was a functional one. Not any more...!
While there are still functional roles -- doctor, carpenter, aluminum siding -- six vast new categories of function- less humanity have evolved. Go ahead, fill in the blanks >>>
#1 - Experts: They appear one day with degrees after their name, exotic credits to their resume and can write very long polysyllabic reports. They wear dark, tailored outfits and are quoted often in the media. They never come with any doubts, but always with a fee. Here's a hint. Economists were created to make weather forecasters look good. Other examples include ____________________.
#2 - Pundits: They appear on television a lot. No degrees after their name, but they come with a fast mouth, glinty eyes, and steel-trap opinions about everything and everyone. After a few years at this gig, pundits are hired not to interview others, but to interview one another. Robert Frost said, "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half have nothing to say and keep on saying it." Examples include ______
#3 - Political Bloggers: They are a derivative of pundits, only nobody will pay them so they chatter on their own websites without pay (hmmmm?). Also without much purpose. Examples include ____________________
#4 - Celebrities: They are those among us who are usually famous for being famous. They may have done something once in their life, but now they do nothing with their life. Except pose for the paparazzi, deny rumors about their sex life, and occasionally get arrested so they can go to rehab and then be interviewed by Barbara Walters. From this sub-species of our species name three ________________________________________
#5 - Protestors: They are from all walks of life with all kinds of opinions. Unlike most of us, protesters take their opinions to the streets. Give them a cause that's close to their heart and they'll wear their heart on their sleeve anywhere anytime. Some are there to make a point; others to make the 5 o'clock news.You only have to name one to pass this question _____________________________________
#6 - Freaks: They come in all shapes, sizes and makeup.These are people who will eat worms, climb barned wire, swim swamps, and so long as there's a camera dance with the alligators. Many freaks are former celebrities who themselves were former stars. When you become a public freak, there is nowhere else on the food chain to go. Some currently sad examples include ________________________________
See, I told you this is a quiz everyone could pass!!! Unfortunately!!!
While there are still functional roles -- doctor, carpenter, aluminum siding -- six vast new categories of function- less humanity have evolved. Go ahead, fill in the blanks >>>
#1 - Experts: They appear one day with degrees after their name, exotic credits to their resume and can write very long polysyllabic reports. They wear dark, tailored outfits and are quoted often in the media. They never come with any doubts, but always with a fee. Here's a hint. Economists were created to make weather forecasters look good. Other examples include ____________________.
#2 - Pundits: They appear on television a lot. No degrees after their name, but they come with a fast mouth, glinty eyes, and steel-trap opinions about everything and everyone. After a few years at this gig, pundits are hired not to interview others, but to interview one another. Robert Frost said, "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half have nothing to say and keep on saying it." Examples include ______
#3 - Political Bloggers: They are a derivative of pundits, only nobody will pay them so they chatter on their own websites without pay (hmmmm?). Also without much purpose. Examples include ____________________
#4 - Celebrities: They are those among us who are usually famous for being famous. They may have done something once in their life, but now they do nothing with their life. Except pose for the paparazzi, deny rumors about their sex life, and occasionally get arrested so they can go to rehab and then be interviewed by Barbara Walters. From this sub-species of our species name three ________________________________________
#5 - Protestors: They are from all walks of life with all kinds of opinions. Unlike most of us, protesters take their opinions to the streets. Give them a cause that's close to their heart and they'll wear their heart on their sleeve anywhere anytime. Some are there to make a point; others to make the 5 o'clock news.You only have to name one to pass this question _____________________________________
#6 - Freaks: They come in all shapes, sizes and makeup.These are people who will eat worms, climb barned wire, swim swamps, and so long as there's a camera dance with the alligators. Many freaks are former celebrities who themselves were former stars. When you become a public freak, there is nowhere else on the food chain to go. Some currently sad examples include ________________________________
See, I told you this is a quiz everyone could pass!!! Unfortunately!!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
FATHERS DAY IN CHICAGO WITHOUT THE FIRST FATHER
This month Chicago will celebrate Fathers Day without the first father who is now in Washington. That still leaves us 1,061,928 households which include fathers. But as even you have suggested, Mr. President, sometimes the problem with Fathers Day are the fathers....!
Mothers, on the other hand, are naturals for their Day. By every given measure -- biological, emotional, spiritual and traditional -- moms have what it takes to be celebrated. Dads....? I ask you, Sir, how many artists paint padonnas to match their madonnas? How many lyrics are penned to dear-old-father-of-mine? How many children run home with a bloody nose and look for a daddy's lap? How many dying soldiers call out for pappa?
This is not to slam fathers. After all, most believers still think of their god as a guy. But meanwhile back here on earth, florists and candy stores ring up a lot more sales on Mothers Day. And why not? Mothers are what keeps the race going. A few minutes of help from the father-to-be, but now compare his minutes with her months. This new life (at whatever instant you believe it begins) is now lung and ligament a 24/7 part of her own existence. From morning sickness to afternoon exercise to nighttime daydreaming. What only last month was a girl is today a woman. Someone who once lived in her todays, today can't help living in her tomorrows.
I myself a father look at fatherhood as a profound union with my wife. And yet, my wife's union is with cosmic forces I can never touch. Pick whatever name you like-- God, Evolution, Energy, Eternity. While she's dancing in the invisible arms of that ineffable something, I'm still commuting, golfing, and gardening without missing a beat. Or a period. Or a night's sleep.
This June 21st will come and go quietly here in Chicago. As probably it should. Okay, some passing attentions -- a card, a smile, better yet a kiss -- will tell dad you still care. But in any event, the wisdom of the ages should be remembered. The Bible, the ancient Greek dramas, the psychological discoveries by Freud, and yes some of the parenting specials back here by Oprah. Each in its own way is paying tribute to the staggering meaning and meaningfulness of mothers.
Mr. President, a fine way to spend this Fathers Day back here in your Chicago might be for we fathers to get our bearings straight. By tracing them back to the women we made mothers. Back to their place in the galaxy of human existence, to their purpose in the preservation of that galaxy, and to our repudiation of any distractions and desertions of which we may be guilty.
Maybe, lets make this Fathers Day another Mothers Day....!
Mothers, on the other hand, are naturals for their Day. By every given measure -- biological, emotional, spiritual and traditional -- moms have what it takes to be celebrated. Dads....? I ask you, Sir, how many artists paint padonnas to match their madonnas? How many lyrics are penned to dear-old-father-of-mine? How many children run home with a bloody nose and look for a daddy's lap? How many dying soldiers call out for pappa?
This is not to slam fathers. After all, most believers still think of their god as a guy. But meanwhile back here on earth, florists and candy stores ring up a lot more sales on Mothers Day. And why not? Mothers are what keeps the race going. A few minutes of help from the father-to-be, but now compare his minutes with her months. This new life (at whatever instant you believe it begins) is now lung and ligament a 24/7 part of her own existence. From morning sickness to afternoon exercise to nighttime daydreaming. What only last month was a girl is today a woman. Someone who once lived in her todays, today can't help living in her tomorrows.
I myself a father look at fatherhood as a profound union with my wife. And yet, my wife's union is with cosmic forces I can never touch. Pick whatever name you like-- God, Evolution, Energy, Eternity. While she's dancing in the invisible arms of that ineffable something, I'm still commuting, golfing, and gardening without missing a beat. Or a period. Or a night's sleep.
This June 21st will come and go quietly here in Chicago. As probably it should. Okay, some passing attentions -- a card, a smile, better yet a kiss -- will tell dad you still care. But in any event, the wisdom of the ages should be remembered. The Bible, the ancient Greek dramas, the psychological discoveries by Freud, and yes some of the parenting specials back here by Oprah. Each in its own way is paying tribute to the staggering meaning and meaningfulness of mothers.
Mr. President, a fine way to spend this Fathers Day back here in your Chicago might be for we fathers to get our bearings straight. By tracing them back to the women we made mothers. Back to their place in the galaxy of human existence, to their purpose in the preservation of that galaxy, and to our repudiation of any distractions and desertions of which we may be guilty.
Maybe, lets make this Fathers Day another Mothers Day....!
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